Two weeks ago, it was a very crazy time at our house. It all started when my husband asked me "What do you think about the boys sharing a room together?" My first initial reaction was utter terror! I thought of late night trips to the emergency room, because of a need for my youngest to play Superman, and jump from the top of his bunk-bed. I then pictured in my mind, my two" angelic sons"fighting it out to the death on the floor, over who wants to be Batman! You may think that I am over dramatizing a little, but those of you who have two or more boys who are close in age, are laughing in agreement with me. My youngest,( Evan) is nine and my oldest, (Jonah), will be twelve in a week, so there is a lot of testosterone and adrenaline pumping through their veins.
After I thought about it for awhile, I finally asked," Why do you think they need to share a room together?"
My husband replied," I think that it would be good for them. They are both getting older and they need to learn how to serve each other and get along. Another reason is I need my own office." He was right about needing his own office. My husband works from home, four days out of the week, and he uses our bedroom for his office. I home-school our boys during the day, and it tends to get a little loud at times.Suffice it to say, he has been very patient with us.We have lived in this house for almost three years, in the same space, and this is the first time that he has suggested having his own office. But I wasn't fully sold on the idea. I thought that Jonah should have his own room because he was getting older. He should have his own space,his own time. The more I thought about that statement, the more I realized how foolish the idea was.
For years,I have been teaching my boys about loving and serving one another, but I hadn't given them many opportunities to do so. I was always the one reminding them to do the right thing, to think of the other person. Now an opportunity presented itself, and I was saying no? They both have had their own rooms, their own space, for almost three years now, and have they become less selfish, and more kind? The answer was obvious. No they haven't. If anything they have become more selfish. But they had learned how to become selfish, from watching me. All those times I said, " I need my time, my space", I was teaching them that it was okay to think of themselves first. As mothers, those words should not be uttered out of our mouths. God gave us husbands and children to take care of and to serve. It shouldn't be about us, we had our own time, before we got married and had children. When I was in high-school I used to dream about being a wife and a mom, and I would pray that time would pass by quickly. Time did pass by quickly because I got married at the age of nineteen. But I waited six years to have children.
In those times of waiting, I never once thought about having my own time, my own space. I couldn't wait to have children, to hold them and play with them, to spend time with them. Now I am not saying that we shouldn't take time for ourselves. We still need to set aside time to rest and relax, but we should seek that rest from the Lord, not to satisfy our flesh.If we are starting our day in prayer and reading the bible, He will give us all that we need for the day. Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you." The word all means,everything that the Lord wants you to have.God knows what we need before we ask it, but He still wants us to ask.God was giving me a chance to stop this habit of selfishness in our house and I was to lead by example. I felt emotional and sad about the change but I decided that Jonah giving up his room, was the best thing for all of us.
The hardest part for me to handle with this change is, my boys are growing up. They are no longer little boys, they are becoming young men. They are learning how to keep each other accountable, and are creating a connection that will last a lifetime. They will be closer with each other then they will be with me, or their dad, because they will have a bond as brothers. I look forward to the future when they will be more like friends then roommates, but for now, I will plant the seed of servant hood in their hearts, and pray that I reflect the light of Christ in their lives.